‘It’s not us out there’: The new lingo that’s testing us all

Over to you, Ricky Stuart, after your Raiders led 18-0 against the Sharks on Easter Sunday, only for Cronulla to rise again and crucify Canberra, winning 36-22.

“We played a patch of 12 or 14 minutes of half-decent football,” Ricky said. “Outside of that, we were embarrassing. It was awful ... That’s not us.”

And you, Collingwood coach Craig McRae, after going 0-3 to start the season?

“It was a damning number we looked at earlier in the week. Last year we were No.1 in pressure or close to it. [This year] we’re 13th. It almost stung us all, we looked at the number and said, ‘Cmon, that’s not us’.”

Go on?

“We had many times where one person was tackling on his own, and that’s not us.”

If you need us, we will be in our trailer. But it probably won’t be us.

Klemmer’s ‘wasn’t me’ moment

#Breaking: And already the language is evolving! Just as I finished writing the item above, I see the story where Wests Tigers front-rower David Klemmer relates what he said to his two sons when they showed him the footage doing the rounds of him giving a massive, full-fisted “Up yours!” to Parramatta’s Clint Gutherson after he missed the kick that would have won Parra the game last Monday.

Tell the folks what you told your boys, Klem:

“I was like, ‘Boys, that’s another person, that’s not Dad’.”

So stay Mum about it!

Australian basketball, take a bow

But enough about the Tasmanian JackJumpers, can we bring it back to me for a moment? For, as if you didn’t know, it was way back in October 2020 when on this very page TFF put the JackJumpers in my Team of The Week and wrote: “Kudos to them for not picking a focus-grouped American name like ‘Raiders,’ ‘Cowboys’ or ‘Titans’. And all credit to the NBL for bringing back a Tassie team.”

And now look at them! In their first year they lost in the grand final series to the Sydney Kings, in their second year they lost in the semi-finals to the NZ Whatsits, and this year, they won it all! It was a great accomplishment by all involved and gives credence to the notion that any dinkum national comp benefits hugely by having a team from the Apple Isle.

Basketball and Australia have had a sometimes-difficult relationship, with our best and brightest mostly playing in the US or Europe, and it is inevitable that more eyeballs seek out the NBA than the NBL. But whoever is running the show now is doing a good job, because it seems to be getting a bit of traction at last.

Vale, Lionel Robberds

RIP Lionel Robberds AM KC 1939-2024. Passed away over Easter. An Olympian in Rome in 1960 for his rowing, he also won gold, silver and bronze medals at subsequent Commonwealth Games, and had an amazing record of finishing on the podium in all 63 state and national races he competed in. Turning his energies to squash, he reached No.7 in the world and was captain of the 1973 world team championship-winning team. In his spare time, he was a distinguished barrister of 50 years standing. He passed away over Easter.

McGeoch off the mark on Games and stadiums

My friend and yours Rod McGeoch dipped into the 2032 Brisbane Games shemozzle this week, suggesting that private enterprise should pick up the slack as the Queensland Government looks at ways to get out of its insane financial commitments. Which sounds fine, but ...

But can I gently suggest that the entire reason why big Games events the world over are struggling for governments to write big cheques is that it is bleeding obvious that the money you put out simply never comes back, leaving taxpayers with the bill. So why would private enterprise saddle themselves with the same burden?

Rod also dipped in a little to #StadiumSplurge saying “The visitor economy in Sydney last year was worth $47 billion. So when somebody baulks at a stadium costing $2bn to $3bn ... let’s think about the visitor economy in a much bigger way.”

No, my friend Rod, let’s not. The last is a very familiar argument, and if the numbers stacked up the way you say, governments the world over would be lining up to sink money into them. But the trend is precisely the other way.

The “visitor economy” when it comes to stadiums? Rod, please. Are people coming to Sydney for our harbour, Opera House and sunny disposition, or our stadiums? OK, OK, there are a few of the latter, admittedly.

But how many people in St Kilda and the like would it take to say, “Look, I didn’t want to go up to Sydney this weekend for the match, but now I see their shiny new stadium, let’s go!” Seriously, our visitor economy is already robust and the idea that the taxpayer will get their money back for money put in has long ago been discredited, even by the Berejiklian Government’s own number-crunchers!

What They Said

Wayne Bennett on the Dolphins being on top of the ladder: “I probably won’t get near the Easter Bunny now. I’ll be more popular than him.”

Young Tasmanian JackJumpers fan Lachlan Mahonney: “I don’t think I’m ever going to feel something like that again, especially with going for St Kilda in the AFL.”

JackJumpers coach Scott Roth: “Island defended.”

How seriously is Tiger Woods treating next week’s Masters? Well, according to a friend: “He’s focused. He’s working really hard in the gym. He’s eating right. He’s even eliminated sex. He does that now when he’s preparing: no sex until the tournament is over. He doesn’t want anything to take away his focus.”

LIV Golfer Bryson DeChambeau took the money but has noticed something lacking: “If we don’t have fans, we don’t have golf. We are not up here entertaining. That’s the most important thing as of right now – the low-hanging fruit. There’s got to be a way to come together. And it needs to happen fast ... Too many people are losing interest.”

Cameron Smith on the Paris Olympics: “It’s desperately a place that I want to get to and represent Australia. I have to play well to get there, I know I have to play well, and I’m probably only going to get three or four shots at it before they make the selection. I guess it is more pressure.” Yeah, nah. I haven’t followed, but I gather Smith’s game has gone backwards since he went to LIV?

Des Hasler on the winless Titans: “I can line up the excuses, a list that long, but what’s the point ... again we’ve leaked 30 points. You could probably copy and paste last week. We’re not putting two halves together, we’re not executing well.”

Peter V’landys on the deeply troubling booing of Latrell Mitchell: “Some of that booing on Friday would have been sheer tribalism from Bulldogs fans, and they directed it at the opposition’s highest-profile player. He makes mistakes – we all do – but if only people realised what a good person Latrell is, they wouldn’t boo him.”

IOC Coordination Commission Chair Kirsty Coventry on Brisbane: “Brisbane 2032 has made significant and measured progress over the past year. The development of its Organisational Strategy and Games Plan gives us great confidence and sets out a clear pathway to deliver truly impactful Olympic and Paralympic Games in 2032.”

Eddie McGuire on stadiums: “It’s an arms race. Any stand that went up before Wi-Fi may as well be Noah’s Ark. These things have a lifespan of 30 years.”

Tigers’ five-eighth Lachlan Galvin has not yet been called “the new Benji”, but it can’t be long: “Five months ago I was at school every day and getting my lunch box in my bag. It’s pretty weird. It’s a dream come true, and I’ll hopefully keep the good form up.”

NSW Swifts player Samantha Wallace-Joseph came under fire after reposting an Instagram tile of Joe Biden highlighting March 31 which this year was Easter Sunday – as International Transgender Day Of Visibility: “The disrespect is crazy. Don’t play with GOD.”

Team of the Week

Tasmania JackJumpers. NBL Champions in just their third year.

Dolphins. Near the top of the NRL but they’ve had the fortune to come across the Dragons and Titans early.

Waratahs. As bad as they’ve been at 1-5 and equal last, they’re also only one game outside the finals. This is what happens when eight of 12 teams advance. Last year 5-9 was good enough for eighth spot.

Louis Rees-Zammit. The Welsh rugby player signed with the Kansas City Chiefs.

Storm/Broncos. Played one of the great games on Thursday evening with the lead changing hands in a series of flick-passes before the Storm finally triumphed 34-32.

X/Twitter: Peter_Fitz

NRL is Live and Free on Channel 9 & 9Now

Sports news, results and expert commentary. Sign up for our Sport newsletter.