Mental health days are important, but when should kids be allowed them?
When kids are physically unwell, there are clear indicators for parents when deciding to keep them home from school, whether it’s a high temperature or runny nose. But when it comes to mental health days, when young people need time off to look after their emotional state, the decision is not so clear-cut.
Beyond a lack of physical symptoms to justify a day off, ambivalence around mental health days is also associated with a view that kids are falsely using them as a way to get out of school, says Linda Williams, clinical lead at ReachOut.
An increase in time off school has been linked to anxiety.Credit: iStock
“Mental health days have a bad rap and can be associated with slacking off or taking a day off when you aren’t unwell,” she says.
To some degree, the rise of videos posted on social media about mental health days from school are playing a role in popularising this opinion.
The clips, widely circulated on TikTok, are often posted by parents who have permitted their child to take a day off for the sake of their mental health, doing fun activities like shopping or going out for lunch. While many viewers are supportive, others are more critical, posing the question: how do you know you’re not being taken advantage of?
While Australia has a lack of data on how many school students have taken mental health days, student attendance data released by the Australian Curriculum Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) in 2023 indicates that attendance rates have dropped over the past decade, a trend that worsened during the pandemic – and numbers haven’t returned to pre-pandemic levels.
Associated with this decline is school refusal, which parenting organisation Triple P identified in their government inquiry submission as a growing issue in Australia. According to the submission, school refusal is closely linked with anxiety, which has also increased in recent years.
But with an abundance of research linking school absence to a whole host of negative issues – including impacts on learning, social and emotional development, and even longer-term mental health into adulthood – we know school attendance is critical.
So, as a parent or caregiver, how do you decide whether a child should or shouldn’t take a mental health day? And are they beneficial?
When considering this, Williams says it’s important to acknowledge that mental health is as important as physical health, which means we need to look after ourselves when we aren’t doing well.
“It’s about recognising when you are having a tough time with your mental health and taking time out to seek treatment, to rest or to spend some time on self-care,” she says.
According to Williams, this self-care can take the form of a mental health day, whether you’re a student or an adult.
Unlike physical illness, though, there may not be any obvious signs that a child is struggling with their emotional or mental state, meaning the decision to keep them home from school is often based on a parent’s feeling, says Dr Luke Martin, clinical psychologist and Beyond Blue spokesperson.
“Parents know their child best, so making the decision about a mental health day is often based on a combination of gut instincts and knowing what’s going on in your child’s world at the moment,” he says.
Set conditions around time off school
If a parent decides a mental health day is in their child’s best interests, setting expectations on how they spend their day to ensure it supports them getting better is important, says Williams. “That could include things like attending an appointment with a mental health professional … or spending time in nature.”
Stipulating a certain number of mental health days per term or semester can also be helpful, says Martin.
“This can encourage regular open communication about how your child is feeling and functioning, and gives them some agency in deciding when they need to play that card, which kids love,” he says.
Think beyond mental health days
Think of mental health days as just one tool in the toolbox, says Jennifer Lobb, a senior clinical advisor at headspace. “It’s important that we consider a mental health day to be an occasional strategy and to use it responsibly, and when necessary,” she says.
If a young person is requesting mental health days regularly, or at certain times, like when an assignment is due, this may be a sign of avoidance or something more serious. Permitting mental health days in these situations can make some problems worse.
“All kids have days they don’t want to go to school. But if it’s becoming an ongoing occurrence, it’s worth reflecting on their mental health and whether you’ve noticed any signs of concern,” says Martin.
“Have they been themselves lately? Are they more emotional, or emotionally withdrawn? Have they stopped activities they used to enjoy? Are they experiencing friendship difficulties? Has their motivation and performance at school dropped?”
If you do observe any concerning signs, seeking support from the school, a mental health professional or a support service is imperative, says Lobb.
The longer a student stays away from school, the larger the impact is on their learning and development, as well as social connections and friendships.
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