Opinion
Rabbitohs are reeling, now for the recriminations
Peter FitzSimons
Columnist and authorListen, you can call me a leaguie nutter if you like, but here’s the thing.
I reckon if you look closely, you’ll see that the wheels have fallen off Souths, or they’ve been too long at the bar. And it’s not just that they’ve lost the first two matches this year, against the Sea Eagles and Broncos.
Since Round 12 last year, the Rabbitohs have won just four of the fifteen matches they have played, and two of those were against the Tigers and the Titans, which don’t really count. And another was against St George Illawarra at a time when the Dragons were doing a victory lap if they won so much as the toss.
In eight of those eleven losses, they let in more than 28 points. Got it? Since May of last year, the number of half-decent wins they’ve got can be counted on one finger – against the Warriors – while just about everyone else has smacked them stupid. There is no doubt that the team is chokka with talent in the dressing room. But once they get on the field nothing is working.
What to do?
I’ll go with the obvious. Start by grumbling about the coach Jason Demetriou. Then maintain that Latrell Mitchell is doing too much talking off the field, and not enough on it. Say that they never should have let Adam Reynolds go to Brisbane, and insist that the joint has not been the same since Sam Burgess left.
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Then say that Cody Walker has also been well off his game, and point to the fact that as three of their next four matches are against the in-form Roosters, Warriors and Sharks things risk going south at Souths very quickly. Then try and get the numbers for a putsch on the coach. When finally that putsch succeeds, maintain that everything will be alright from here. It may or may not change the basic equation of stopping gutting losses, but it is the way we do it with the Wallabies and at least makes you feel better about things.
Bright Brighton fans get their revenge
Well, I never. In the Europa League last week, the Roma fans who went to Brighton turned up with banner proclaiming . . . well, it’s too rude to say. But it turned on alleging that a famous Englishwoman . . . oh forget it. Anyway, the point is that in the return bout, Brighton gave better than they got by holding up a banner in Italian proclaiming TOTTI ADORA L’ANANAS SULLA PIZZA. (“[Former Roma star Francesco] Totti likes pineapple on pizza.“) And that got ’em!
Malaysia to the rescue?
So, is the 2026 Commonwealth Games saved now that Malaysia has been offered £100 million (A$194 million) originating from the compensation paid last year by Victoria for pulling out of hosting duties? No. Malaysia may or may not decide to take it up, substantially using the facilities they built for the Kuala Lumpur Games in 1998, but even if the Games take place, it will change nowt the dynamic. The times have passed the Commonwealth Games by and there is no longer any appetite for a jumped-up school sports carnival built on alumni of the British Empire’s former colonies attending. Guys? It’s over.
Big-time rugby gets a foothold in the US
Friends, I bring great news. US Fox Sports has come to a deal with Britain’s Premiership Rugby to broadcast some of their competition with the official announcement noting that “the final six league games, play-offs and Gallagher Premiership Rugby Final 2024, will be on network TV after a partnership was struck with Fox Sports.”
Gallagher Premiership Rugby is headed to US television screens.Credit: Getty
Listen, I am not saying that rugby is going to take over from the NFL. I repeat, I am NOT saying that. And I am not saying that it will be bigger than Wrestlemania. You can’t even get to say that there will likely be tens of millions watching, if not 100 million, and the gambling revenue will be simply stupendous, do you hear?
I’m just saying all those things could happen – and in the meantime, it is just the greatest thing that’s ever happened to rugby union, a real pinch-me moment! Like, just hold me down before I explode, and can everyone take the names of the narky nay-sayers because we’re coming after them! It’s just massive, I tell you, the GREATEST thing ever to happen to rugby union!
I am sure you know the drill, yes?
Gilly to hold court at Chappell dinner
The guest speaker at this year’s Chappell Foundation Dinner at the SCG on 15 May will be . . . Adam Gilchrist. Since 2017, the Foundation has given more than $4.5 million to help combat youth homelessness, and this dinner should get them over the $5 million mark. The best cricket speakers I have heard are, in order, Mike Whitney, the late Dean Jones and Kerry O’Keeffe, but Gilchrist is up there for the sheer breadth and glory of his career.
Steve Smith’s spot is under fire.Credit: Getty
Jimmy sets me straight
TFF had a rant midweek that as Steve Smith’s average as opener has dropped to half what he once boasted as the best batsman in the world when playing in the middle-order, it was time for him to go either back to the middle order, or even to the far pavilions from whence he came. He will, after all, be 35 by the time the Australian cricket team plays again, which is precisely the time when the powers of most legendary batsmen start to fade.
I further noted that the job of opener should go to the most accomplished opener in the country, Cameron Bancroft, who was pretty much the only one who paid a price for the infamous #sandpapergate affair in Cape Town in 2018. David Warner and Steve Smith resumed their glorious careers after suspensions, while Bancroft was shortly afterward opening the batting for Siberia.
My reckoning was that as he likely “took one for the team” in taking his lumps from the umps despite the unfairness of him carrying the can alone, it might be time that the team took one for him, and gave him another go.
The piece drew a gentle rebuke from none other than the ABC’s legendary cricket commentator Jim Maxwell, who tweeted to me: “Won’t happen. Next Test in November so sit still. How do you improve the top six ? You don’t…yet. Smith did carry his bat 5 innings ago and opening is a tough gig. Bancroft’s requiem was written when he was’nt picked for the Ashes. And no one catches better than Smith. Chill.”
Sigh. I’ll try. And defer to my betters, but . . .
But doesn’t that condemn Australian cricket to seeing Smith have the same kind of stuttering end to his career as Allan Border, Steve Waugh, Mark Taylor, Ricky Ponting and David Warner? The pattern is well-established. They score so many runs, they become un-droppable. Anyone with the same results, but a different name would be dropped on their final 20 performances, but because of who they are, they endure. So it was with them, so it will likely be with Smith.
And against India, for five Tests from November, that might be a luxury Australia can’t afford.
Ok, ok, Jim. I’ll stop now. If you need me, I’ll be under the bus.
What They Said
Patrick Cummins on scoring the winning runs and leaving Alex Carey on 98 not out: “I had no idea he was on 98! That would have been embarrassing if he was celebrating [his ton] and I wasn’t looking.”
Carey: “I was happy with that. I didn’t want to get on strike again.”
Spencer Leniu on how he got himself in strife in the Roosters’ opening match: “I heard Ezra Mam say something to me. That’s when I said to him ‘f--- up, monkey’. I’m so sorry that I used that word and I made him feel little. This game happens so fast. In that split second, I said a word that I didn’t know the meaning to. I didn’t know how much that meant to the Indigenous community, Ezra and his family. I thought it was banter. I didn’t think I did anything wrong and that’s why I said it. I thought it was one brown man sledging another brown man.”
Johnathan Thurston – who has developed into a commentator of real substance –on Leniu getting eight weeks suspension: “I understand that he’s [Leniu] owned up to what he has said, but the NRL, we have the Indigenous All Stars match, we have the Indigenous round, they have an NRL Indigenous strategy team, so we’re saying and doing all the right things, but I definitely don’t think that the crime has fit the punishment.”
World tennis’s No.123 ranked player, Luca Nardi who only got into the main draw of Indian Wells after another player withdrew due to injury, on defeating Novak Djokovic: “This is a miracle. I’m a 20-year-old guy, 100 in the world and I beat Novak. Crazy. Just crazy.” Djokovic carried on like a pork chop after points – losing ones – but had nothing to stop Nardi’s 38 winners.
World No.1 golfer Scottie Scheffler on LIV: “If the fans are upset, then look at the guys that left. We had a tour, we were all together and the people that left are no longer here. At the end of the day, that’s where the splintering comes from. As far as our tour goes . . . we’re doing our best to create the best product for the fans, and that’s really where we’re at.”
Sir Clive Woodward claiming that England’s 23-22 victory over Ireland was inspired by - now, who can doubt it? – him: “I honestly believe that Borthwick’s players had read my pre-match column because they were so quickly out of the blocks.” Prop Joe Marler reacted to the claim on Twitter, by posting a dinosaur emoji.
The Olympic rings outside the Paris City Hall earlier this year.Credit: AP
Parisian local Julie on the Olympics coming and posters telling them to work from home during the Games: “It feels a bit like COVID lockdown all over again. It’s like saying: ‘Parisians, stay confined to your homes, out of the way, while all this money is spent on the Games.’ Personally, I’ll stay away. I’m not happy about the idea of clearing homeless people from the city centre to make way for the Games.”
Ben Barba, now 34, looking back on how he lost his way amid sudden NRL stardom: “I said to myself, ‘If people want me to be who everyone wants me to be, I may as well milk it for all its worth’. Obviously, then the alcohol and the drugs took their toll. It was like, 12 months [earlier] no one would piss on you if you were on fire, then you’d go out and not have to spend a dime because everyone wanted to buy Benny Barba a beer. I jumped at it. I didn’t handle it the right way. I wish I was level-headed.”
Team of the Week
Louis Lynagh. The son of long-time Wallaby five-eighth Michael Lynagh, Louis became an instant hero with a try on debut as Italy rallied to beat Scotland 31-29 in a dramatic Six Nations match. A great result for rugby.
James Anderson. The Pommy paceman became just the third bowler to 700 Test wickets.
Bournemouth. Became only the fifth team in Premier League history to win a match in which they trailed by three goals, and just the third to do so in a game where they were 3-0 down at half-time.
Tasmania JackJumpers and Melbourne United. Meeting in the NBL finals. Nope, me either.
Western Australia and Tasmania. Playing in the Shield final. Watch Bancroft.
Waratahs. Take on the Blues on Saturday.
Patrick Cummins. In Australia’s past three run chases over 250 runs he’s hit the winning runs in each of them! (Yes, I know. Surprising he’s such an extraordinary player, given he’s so woke’n’all? I thought his game, and his team, were meant to go to hell?
Alex Carey. His match-winning knock in NZ on Monday likely saved his career, which was struggling.
X/Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
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