This was published 9 months ago
Opinion
There’s only one way to save the Commonwealth Games – add a Eurovision twist
Sean Murphy
ComedianWe did it! After 22 iterations around the world, Australia – that colossus of the Commonwealth Games – has killed its favourite quadrennial cakewalk. Should Birmingham 2022 prove to be the last outing, history will note that we Aussies won almost 25 per cent of all medals awarded across the Commonwealth Games since 1930. Good to go out on top.
Since Victorian Premier Dan Andrews pulled the rug on his state hosting the 2026 Games on Tuesday, I’ve received calls from friends and family concerned for my welfare. Why? My life and career have come to depend on that weird, rickety thing called the Commonwealth.
A Comm Games with Eurovision pike? Australia’s Voyager during the vote count at the grand final of the Eurovision song contest in Liverpool, England, in May this year.Credit: AP/Martin Meissner
It started with the 2018 Gold Coast games, with councils around Australia having me host events for the Queen’s Baton, the Commonwealth’s version of the touring Olympic torch.
After that, I travelled and performed in every single Commonwealth nation. From Nauru to Nigeria, Barbados to Bangladesh, my shows were welcomed in schools, theatres, beaches, embassies and houses of worship. Across more than 55 countries and dependent territories (anyone else been to Niue?), I met, broke bread and billeted in the homes of locals – be it a military station in India, a couch in Canada, or even the Queen’s own room at the British high commissioner’s place in Trinidad.
Some things I learnt:
First, people are – generally – very positive about the Commonwealth. Whatever its origins, the present reality of this curious club of nations offers benefits for the one-time vassals of empire. Foremost is the fact that the Commonwealth gives tiny states like Solomon Islands and Saint Kitts and Nevis an equal seat at the table and room to be heard in a way that all-of-world groupings such as the Olympics or United Nations cannot.
Second, the Commonwealth is growing. This hit me in Mozambique: a Commonwealth nation in Africa with no history of British colonisation. And Mozambique is not alone: Rwanda, Gabon and Togo are the Commonwealth’s most recent inductees, none of which were ever entwined in Britain’s historical empire.
Third, beyond sharing the English language, common law and Westminster systems of government, the Commonwealth of Nations is also home to a vast Indian diaspora. Whether it’s Guyana in South America, Fiji in the South Pacific or Kenya in East Africa, the industrious descendants of indentured labourers and free merchants means the face of today’s Commonwealth is not some 21st century Cecil Rhodes, but rather the Singhs and Patels and Ramkissoons of Georgetown and Nadi and Nairobi.
So if Victoria’s withdrawal from hosting the 2026 Commonwealth Games spells an end to an Aussie-dominated “Olympics-lite” – so be it! Having seen the energy and enthusiasms of Commonwealth countries first-hand, we would all be better served by something of a stripped-down, cultured-up post-Commonwealth Games.
On the sporting side, keep things bare bones: only codes that can be played on the quintessentially Commonwealth layouts of netball court, lawn bowls green or cricket pitch. Also, make it an opportunity for the exhibition of indigenous sports such as India’s exciting tag-cum-wrestling game kabaddi. And, with the English language in common across a vast array of cultures, include a Eurovision-style song contest that might see reggaeton of the Caribbean throw down against the Pacific Islands pop of Tonga, Samoa and New Zealand.
Care to dance, Dan?
Sean Murphy is a comedian, presenter and producer of the Commonwealth of Dunces podcast.
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